He's your son, and I'm sorry none of the other parents in your life told you this, but the moment your son entered this world your needs and wants plummeted to a far second to his. I don't want the pregnancy experience. They lose belief in themselves. I don’t have ANY recollection of him. It’s hard for most people to comprehend that I, or any woman, could not want to be a mother. I'm considering childfreedom, but I have some worries. I fear for his future. Here are some tips and some facts that can help you. LIFE. In the end me and my girlfriend came to the agreement that the baby be born but that I would be a single parent since she did not want to have a baby this young. I'd always be worried that, in trying to better myself and make myself happy, I'd be hurting my child in the process." I know 23 is young but there are some women who wouldn't mind being a step mother, especially when the bio mom isn't in the picture. I know there are a lot of parenting cynics out there. It isn't your fault if your son is one of them. The thought of having to give that up to do things like spoon-feed mushed peas to a baby who will die if I'm not around her 24/7 is too stressful for me. Reply. It was something weird, fun, and like nothing I'd ever tried before, and 100% baby free, so it let me feel like I had something outside the mancub. I have a special needs child with autism, 12 years old. ET have been removed. In that post (2 years ago) his son was already 18 months old, This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/AmItheAsshole, More posts from the AmItheAsshole community. But seriously, you need to get your situation under control first cause nobody is going to want to jump into a family with a guy who is on the verge of sending his kid away for adoption. We struggled in the beginning to "cure him", but it's clear he'll always have the mind of a 2 year old. On the third day after taking the test, as I woke up to grab my Gatorade (which was the only thing I could stomach) it hit me: I don't want a child. You would not believe how much recharge you can get out of 1 hour, a glass of wine, and bullshitting with another parent while your kids play with blocks and eat fingerpaint. He of course brought his mom along :(. I want to be a great dad that loves his kid but I don’t think I can be that, I’ve tried for two years. r/Entitledparents don't just act entitled to THEIR kids, they also act entitled to YOUR kids! Thank you so much for you thoughtful answer, I will take all this into consideration, My bio dad terminated his parental rights when I was 2. TLDR: I am a single dad that feels like he’s personal life is interfering with his ability to be a father, WIBTA to put up my two year old for adoption? 99. So WIBTA for putting my son up for adoption? I am still in so much pain. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I feel so drained emotionally. The final section of “never give up” quotes below are a potent reminder to keep going in spite of any obstacles that life might throw in our way. He didn’t even look at me when he came up the porch to get his shit. We offered respite care for many years, and for some of the children who came to us, I had to send my own children to their grandparents for a few days, so OH and I could concentrate on the disabled child's needs. Cons: Half of moms with a different last name than their child and partner say they're not entirely happy with this arrangement because they feel left out. But your son isn't a pet. At the time me and my girlfriend were 21. To give your life purpose. He came and picked his shit up today. Some years after my decision to divorce, I thanked my parents for not pressuring me one way or the other on the “stay-or-go” issue. I just feel so anxious still. She wanted to have an abortion but as a christian I felt that this was against my beliefs (btw I’m not pro-life, I feel like the option to abort should be there for people that don’t believe what I do but this is what I thought was right for my child). She lives in a rural area so I can’t move to her either with my job, but I am going to invest in a babysitter. Me and my partner have been trying for a baby since May 2016. I like the play date idea a lot. This comment, is SO GOOD! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. How do I find other childfree people to date. I know that babies are a hot commodity, but I'm fairly sure demand plummets as the kid get even a bit older than that). Discussion and links of interest to childfree individuals. Not that I'm unsympathetic, cause dude, I get. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. "My entitled 6 year old kid is a professional esports player, so he needs a free keyboard and headphones...". He showed me what a father is and I am so grateful for him. Lastly I just want to say that I love my son and that i genuinely thought that him getting adopted by a stable family would be better for him when I wrote this yesterday but can now see how that can mess him up in so many different ways. But that’s simply not true. This would be much worse if the kid was old enough to remember you, but if you’re so selfish and self absorbed (like my dad was) that you cannot be a parent, then please give this child a life and a family he deserves. We both came to the decision I come of the pill as we decided we wanted a family as we were getting engaged that same year. (Side point: read up on adoption statistics for kids his age. I've seen all your hiking gear neatly displayed in your special cupboard everytime I went over to your place, with all the gorgeous pictures of places you hiked to. All his life, my 45-year-old son has hit us up for money. Not sure how to address the issue with your doctor or how to ask for a referral to your general practitioner? Do I have to hate parents or children to be here? She asked her, "Are you peeing after each time you have sex?" You are the center of his world. One that adores you. My 4yo takes half an hour to just wake up so this was a nightmare. I thank god my dad wasn’t in my life, because my dad (adopted me when I was 5 and married my mom) is my REAL father. Yesterday I fell asleep. That fall the baby was born and after that she moved back to her home state (she went out of state for college) and I got my son. She wanted to have an abortion but as a christian I felt that this was against my beliefs (btw I’m not pro-life, I feel like the option to abort should be there for people that don’t believe what I do but this is what I thought was right for my child). This woman was complaining about constant UTIs. We were excited about our prospects but we wanted our lives to be an adventure. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Especially since he has only lived officially in the house for 8 days. Their love will fill the household. I have started transferring files using a flash drive. My son is 18m and his dad is his favourite person in the world (I'm a close second most of the time), if either of us left him he would be just devastated. Like 15+ a day when we don't let her do what she wants. Good luck, friend. But I.R.S. Feel free to add your doctor too if you had a good experience! I don't even like to hold babies, much less give birth to one. Please take this to heart, my man. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. I think I was just in too of a dark place to see how bad this post is and even if I got a lot of nonconstructive comments that hurt I got a lot of comments that really hit it on the nail with how bad it would be to follow through with this as well as giving me really sound advice. “The best thing my child can give me is showing how they have confidence in themselves. She said that if I feel as though he is a threat to my safety and he doesn’t pay bills or own anything, I am allowed to kick him out. I think you might have depression or maybe some other kind of mental illness, and you should speak to a doctor or a therapist about it and get some help. If I recall correctly, OP was justifiably massacred for being a giant asshole over there too. Just...find some way to buy more time for you in your week, something to look forward to. She asked for proof that I own my house, asked what happened, etc. Things started off OK like we were having sex all the time. Because you are it to him. Am I the only childfree person who likes kids? This isn't roast me. Without any expense to myself, how should I go about this, and how can I 'test' that all my 'files', etc. So on the spring of 2016 I found out that my college girlfriend got pregnant. She is doing it privately, and is sometimes conscious about it, but often seems to just do it without even thinking about it. Nope, that is not even slightly starting to begin to be a good reason for that kind of damage to another person. My daughter gave a child up for adoption about 25 years ago. Not related to CF life choice | Low quality/effort, No gross pictures, gifs and/or video links, No jokes/making fun of violence/harm towards kids, No pic/gif/vid only on off-topic rave self posts, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. My wife and I are in our 40s and have decided that we would prefer not to have children. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Thank you to everyone that took their time out to give me a thoughtful answer and to the people that reached out to me in private, I am really grateful. It gets better, I promise. I have a new lap top and want to give my old laptop to my friend. Stay civil no matter how much you hate this guy. EDIT: I feel like people are answering the question AITA for having a kid and then regretting my choice which I believe the entire world would agree that ITA, but I’m asking if in my current situation, as the asshole I am, WIBTA to put up my son for adoption now? However, eventually he'll be 20, and society will no longer see an innocent child. Very well written by the way. The expectation was that we would move to Boston and work 80 hours a week. You guys come in a variety of packaging. Others grow weary of the additional explanations often required. I jumped out of bed, went into her room and woke her up… I knew I had read this situation before, thought it was a troll reposting. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Please give me your perspective. The thing that makes me think that I am an asshole is that he has started to form an attachment to me and that it would be unfair on him to leave him and unfair on his grandmother that also has a good connection with him. Yes. - Wyatt, 26 YOUR. Forcing your child to become a … If you tell them you didn’t have time to get a … 4. Exactly what this poster said. And I can’t date, like who wants a 23 year old guy with a kid. The ma and pa Waltons of the past have given birth to a new generation of parents who opt for smaller families in which children might not be able to make up their own softball team but do have ready access to the bathroom. 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